How many excuses have you made today? For most of us, that can be a very difficult question to answer.
I suspect that you don't even know when you have made one, as it happens so quickly.
For instance, I woke up this morning and the first thing on my mind was "Today I will get on the treadmill and finally start my exercise program." Less than a minute later I had my exercise clothes on ready to go.
Wow, it felt great to be back on track again. I brushed my teeth and headed towards the machine. Suddenly, I was warmly greeted by our lab Angel who nudged me into the kitchen for breakfast. And then it happened. I fed Angel, did the dishes, swept the floor, and started the laundry. After all, I really didn't have time to do most of these chores during the week and it is the weekend. Then my husband said it's time for us to leave and meet his appointment and head for the hot springs. It's all good right? Spontaneity makes life flow, right? I guess so, but something is missing. Even after a wonderful morning, I am left knowing that I have made another excuse for not doing what is important to me. So what does it take to keep true to one's personal goals without excuses? Where is our self discipline? How do we create a supportive environment? Let's not forget time management! (Probably good subjects for a later discussion).
Then there are those other types of excuses. The ones we tell because we don't want to disappoint others or honestly say "no" and confront our short comings. Once you get in the habit of making excuses for your actions or lack thereof, it becomes a disease. At least it does in the minds of those that get tired of hearing them.
Instead of agreeing to do something for someone and then make an excuse for not getting it done, isn't better to just not set that perception in the first place? Better to say, 'I will give you a call later and let you know if I can do that for you." It's selfish to disappoint someone when you know they are counting on you, and undoubtedly you will count on your "book of excuses" at the end of the day. Throw away the old thing and treat each person and event with the same respect. Be honest, even if you think the other person will be disappointed. At least you will have the opportunity to gain their respect and work on a plan that will not end in conflict.
Children tell their parent's stories or excuses because they are afraid to tell the truth and get into trouble.
It's time to grow up, we are not 3 feet tall anymore....
Karen
