Real Women

                                                                   Real Women

It’s time to start writing about women.  Women compete every day in a world that is typically masculine in nature.  When a woman is hired over a man, she is ultimately challenged by male dominated industries, employers, or co-workers that eventually tear at the fabric of her feminine qualities.  They expect her to compromise with their pre-existing conditions, all created to maintain a male agenda. If she does not conform and stands strong in her convictions to maintain her own power, the war is on.  Threatened by her fierce determination and undying commitment to her values, she is a target for the status quo.  Coming at her like a pack of well trained dogs, each taking their turn nipping at her heels, they will try to exhaust her, hoping to wear her out, to weaken her resolve, until she compromises. If they are successful, she may branded weak and worthless or just pushed aside in defeat. 

If she attempts to become a man she will have lost, as no woman can fully beat a man at being a man.  Women have many possibilities that inherently offer them advantages men do not acknowledge.  Even if a woman is successful at containing and stuffing herself into the male form she will eventually suffer within and suffocate in her own anguish.  This is another form of self-defeat that erodes and murders the woman within. 

 Men don't often embrace a woman’s worth, what she naturally brings to the table and will not let her BE.  Her strengths are undeniable, but not acceptable.  She must be changed into a man or be deemed an object of desire.  Women who challenge these roles have much to offer.  They are self-sufficient, secure and extremely powerful individuals.  They bring amazing gifts to those who are think of feminine qualities as being elegant, beautiful, graceful, motherly, endearing, and attractive, I am referring to the feminine qualities which include creativity, dedication, attention to details, perception, intuition, fierce loyalty, maintaining the integrity of a group/family, bold initiative and follow through in accomplishing a worthy goal.  I am sure I have missed a few.

Women who express their true feminine qualities have a chance to survive the status quo, bringing exceptional results to any workplace, family, and world concern. Compromise is not a healthy choice for any woman who wants to survive whole.

Karen Carlsson

September 7, 2012

Who is your family?

From the time we are born, to the time we take our last breath,"family" is primary in life.  Even when disconnected by distance or detachment, family threads run through the fabric of ones personal journey.  Those with good fortune experience family love, respect and a supportive home life for childhood development.  Others struggle to understand insensitive members that block the natural essence of love.  This type of struggle creates enormous friction, frustration, anxiety, and helplessness. It can elicit the survival instinct to "escape and define oneself".
Some break the bonds. Some can not.  Being independent is a life choice few make, as the upward battle to go it alone is only for the fearlessly determined . Those who stay "home" and struggle to survive may fall to the grave. Those who fight their family for recognition, position, love and respect can suffer severe consequences. What if there is no light in the darkness? Indoctrination into the family can lead to the demise of one's lofty dreams of freedom and leave one subject to never ending threats of rejection.  Love and self respect have been sacrificed for acceptance.  Depression, medication, lack of intimacy and loss of oneself to another can be experienced. Maybe the dangling carrot of money, inheritance, family position and power is the new path to happiness.  Eventually the "fallen" become the "initiated" by stealing the confidence of others instead of creating healthy loving relationships.  What is happiness?  Where is one's true home? 

Traveling Can Open Many Doors

Traveling can open many doors.  Pack your bags and go somewhere new!   Many people never get to travel or they choose to stay "safe" at home.  They find comfort in their everyday repetitive world.  

 Our world has become smaller and smaller. Traveling hundreds or thousands of miles in one day gives us opportunities to experience different parts of the world past generations only dreamed of.  Throughout history, thousands of families have perished on long treks, over dangerous mountains, through life threatening deserts, and large bodies of water, to arrive in new lands.  Today, we get on line and within minutes we are booked to a far away place.  

We travel for many reasons.  While we are traveling we meet new friends with different lifestyles, behaviors and beliefs.   Eating different foods, hiking new trails, swimming in different waters, shopping in different communities, all adds to the richness of the journey. 

Is it better to keep things the same, like we have been taught? or change?

When we choose to travel we open up to new possibilities and new experiences which change us forever.  When we seek to change ourselves we change the world and better our life.

Eating Well

Eating well is an issue for everyone. Every day, several times a day, one must make multiple decisions regarding food.  These decisions are inescapable, and relevant to every other decison we make.  What you choose to eat becomes the foundation for your physical, mental, and emotional well being.
Animals are born with an innate sense of what they should eat.  Instinctual recognition of food in their enviornment is a survival mehanism.  There are still cultures of people who use their instincts to survive, but for most of us, this is not a factor. 
Going to the market to purchase food is a surreal experience. Everything is packaged to attract, distract, and convince us that we must have it.  Even if you go with a pre planned list of items, you will undoutedly buy several more.
How do we survive the food mecca, and all the products, many of which we could live without?
Do we live to eat or eat to live?  Don't misunderstand, I love to eat.  But is there a line between eating healthy and  eating unhealthy?  When have we overeaten, and why did we eat something we absolutely knew we shouldn't have?  Does it even matter and why are we taking drugs to "kill" the pain of indigestion?
There really is no excuse for eating unhealthy when we have so many healthy choices.
Eating unhealthy is self destructive.  Like smoking cigarettes.  Many young people understand the effect of smoke on their lungs and organs at an early age due to proper education in our schools.  They get to make an informed decision. How does a young person today get proper information on eating healthy?
For most, we eat what our parents or "culture" dictates.  Children grow up eating the same foods everyday until they become teenagers and have some freedom and opportunity to begin making personal choices.
Most families do not support menu choices that deviate from their standard family fare.
Not until a person moves out of the home do most of the new choices take place.
Parents choices are also dictated by enviornmental factors.  If you live in a remote area, a city, a university town, another country, or your home town, influences on your dietary habits will change.
College life can present new opportunites to make choices and be influenced by others with different habits, but generally speaking, there is no formal opportunity to learn about food and its affects on your life.
My own case is interesting.  I went to college in Vermont with Julie, a long time high school best friend.
The support of a friend can be a wonderful thing.  We roomed together in the dorm and ate at the cafeteria with friends.  Two months into the first semester, I noticed I had gained almost 10 pounds.
We both agreed the starchy, fried fare was not what we were used to, so we purchased a hot plate and a small refrigerator.  Now we were in charge of buying and preparing our own meals.  This was new territory for both of us, but fun and challanging.  Cooking in a dorm room, on the sly, is no easy task.
The following year we moved into an apartment in town and cooked the most wonderful meals and were never short of dinner guests, as college students love to eat. We moved again, into a house with another student.  Michael was a healthy vegetarian.  I had grown up to believe that vegetarians were pale, sickly, desperate people.  Needless to say, vegetarianism was fun, easy and felt healthy.  Many of my quirky digestive issues as a child, began to subside and eventually disappear. Being a vegetarian for the past 40 years has been the best choice for my dietary needs.  I have learned to pay attention to my body's responses to food, digestion, energy, and my minds crazy desires to overturn the wisdom of self discipline and sordid need to self destruct.  Everyone has eaten something they wish they hadn't.  That's the self destructive demon that chooses short term pleasure over long term well being.
Staying healthy is quite the job in this world. And extremely important.  Not only is getting sick miserable, it is expensive and you have to rely on doctors, nurses, aides, tests, friends, family, co workers, etc. who have to take control over your health and your life while you are down.  No one really chooses to be sick, but when we make poor choices for ourselves, that's were we are headed.  Do you want what you want or do you want what works??  If you chose what works, you end up on a road that takes you, ultimately to what you want...health.
Karen

Karen Carlsson: Excuses

Karen Carlsson: Excuses

Excuses

How many excuses have you made today?  For most of us, that can be a very difficult question to answer.
I suspect that you don't even know when you have made one, as it happens so quickly.
For instance, I woke up this morning and the first thing on my mind was "Today I will get on the treadmill and finally start my exercise program." Less than a minute later I had my exercise clothes on ready to go.
Wow, it felt great to be back on track again.  I brushed my teeth and headed towards the machine.  Suddenly, I was warmly greeted by our lab Angel who nudged me into the kitchen for breakfast. And then it happened.  I fed Angel, did the dishes, swept the floor, and started the laundry.  After all, I really didn't have time to do most of these chores during the week and it is the weekend.   Then my husband said it's time for us to leave and meet his appointment and  head for the hot springs.  It's all good right? Spontaneity makes life flow, right?  I guess so, but something is missing. Even after a wonderful morning, I am left knowing that I have made another excuse for not doing what is important to me.  So what does it take to keep true to one's personal goals without excuses?  Where is our self discipline?  How do we create a supportive environment? Let's not forget time management!  (Probably good subjects for a later discussion).

Then there are those other types of excuses.  The ones we tell  because we don't want to disappoint others or honestly say "no" and confront our short comings.  Once you get in the habit of making excuses for your actions or lack thereof, it becomes a disease.  At least it does in the minds of those that get tired of hearing them.
Instead of agreeing to do something for someone and then make an excuse for not getting it done, isn't better to just not set that perception in the first place?  Better to say, 'I will give you a call later and let you know if I can do that for you."  It's selfish to disappoint someone when you know they are counting on you, and undoubtedly you will count on your "book of excuses" at the end of the day.  Throw away the old thing and treat each person and event with the same respect.  Be honest, even if you think the other person will be disappointed.  At least you will have the opportunity to gain their respect and work on a plan that will not end in conflict.
Children tell their parent's stories or excuses because they are afraid to tell the truth and get into trouble.
It's time to grow up, we are not 3 feet tall anymore....
Karen

Loving Oneself is a Tricky Thing

Loving oneself is a tricky thing. I believe it's best to start with all the little ways to love oneself and build on them. For example, if you are confused or worried or anxious about the future, it's best to just focus on today, day by day, and let the future unfold. The little things we do for ourselves every day make us stronger and prepare us for the unexpected. For example, if you develop good daily habits, such as eating healthy, getting a good night sleep, keeping your space orderly, hang out with like minded friends, read books that benefit you, keep close to the ones you love, schedule your homework in time to get it done without stressing out, then you are grounded in the moment, in the day and eventually, in the future. Once you become grounded, you feel secure in yourself, no matter what happens around you. Loving yourself is being yourself. Being yourself is the toughie. Friends and family can appear to bring a lot of stress into the equation of "your self". When you want to change your ways, or your direction in life, most everyone you know will question you, doubt you, or even be disappointed with your decisions. It's not easy, sometimes you lose friendships along the path. The question is whose path are you on? Your path, or their path? When you chose your path, people who love you will respect you. Others will feel betrayed, even left behind. That is their choice. Remember everyone has expectations...everyone is going to be disappointed when those expectations are not met. We all have to grow beyond what we expect, work hard/smart for what we want and what we believe in. We must allow our expectations to disperse into new possibilities, creating a future that is unknown and undetermined.

Karen